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Why do we wait until funerals to say positive things about someone?

There is one thing that I’ve often thought was sadder than a funeral itself. It is the way that everyone stands around saying what they liked about the deceased when they are no longer around to hear it. Sometimes it is even sadder to hear that they never told the person in question.

Why is it so hard for us to say positive things to each other?

It certainly seems easier to be critical and to say negative things. And when you think about this it does start to make sense.

Saying positive things opens us up and makes us vulnerable to the other person and to rejection. While saying negative things closes things down and seems to keep us safer and more distant from the other person.

One change I can make this year is to say positive things to people when I get the chance. Not suggesting to make stuff up, just to speak truth. I’m not waiting for another funeral to say a positive thing about someone. And if that opens me up to rejection then c’est la vie!

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0 thoughts on “Why do we wait until funerals to say positive things about someone?”

  1. I’ll carry around some regret, for the rest of my life, that the last time I spoke to a friend was 5 minutes before he was killed in an accident.We were speaking about having an accident of the same type that killed him.Never, ever, leave chances un-utilised to say something *great*.

  2. HiI agree but also have thought at funerals when I hear the eulogy how much more there was to this person and how much more to their life story than I ever knew. Often the case when you get to know someone when they are in midlife I suppose. Makes me wish I had known some of that while they were here. You are right Ben, never miss a chance to say something ” great” to someone. Especially telling them how they might have helped, inspired or influenced you .