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# Remembering Lan, an ordinary woman ...
- URL: https://katecarruthers.com/remembering-lan/
- Published: 2009-08-17T22:22:47.000Z
- Updated: 2009-08-17T22:22:47.000Z
- Author: Kate Carruthers
- Tags: ideas, collaboration, community, inspiration, women, #Migrated-1775015344493, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-04-01 14:49

I have been privileged to know many inspiring women during my life. But the first of these influential women was my mother.

Lan grew up in a large and rambunctious Irish (Greek) Australian family in [Sydney's inner west](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilyfield,%5FNew%5FSouth%5FWales?ref=katecarruthers.com). It was a time when ladies wore hats, gloves & a nice frock to go to town. Lan also grew up as a child of depression era parents, and knew frugal living first hand. Not a wealthy family, but one with a love of books, words, talking and reading.

She also came to adulthood in the days of rock 'n roll and jazz, and of dances at the [old Sydney stadium](http://www.milesago.com/Venues/sydney-stadium.htm?ref=katecarruthers.com).

In her youth access to education was largely the preserve of wealthy women. For Lan and most of her contemporaries (pre-women's lib) a girl worked until she married and then made a home and raised a family. And, in some ways, her acceptance of those old conventional ways used to annoy me.

![lan-kate](https://katecarrutherscom.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/lan-kate.jpg)

But, it was at her side that I learned important things - like the value of education and restorative power of a good laugh. On travels with her I saw economic inequity and its results first hand, and learned how one person can make a difference. She was personally active in helping people via the local [St Vincent de Paul Society](http://www.vinnies.org.au/?ref=katecarruthers.com) and had strong opinions about social justice to go with that personal activism.

She taught me how to make my own lollies and soap & did not mind when I made a huge mess.

During my terrible teen years we had stand-up fights, of the kind that only mothers and daughters can understand. But after all of that we became friends. She provided insight, support and an example to which I aspire in many ways.

Her sayings resonate in my head even today, in a kind of wise counsel. And her words in my memory resonate with a feeling of love, trust in my abilities and a can-do attitude.

Things like social justice, reconciliation, working to the best of my ability, helping others, and standing up for principles - these are all things I learned from Mum. As her brother Brian always said of her, she was always wearing rose coloured glasses.

As a result of her influence it rarely occurred to me that there were things I could not achieve. Even though her own acceptance of a woman's role from a different era annoyed me, she never imposed that on me.

Mum passed away when she was only in her forties, too young to leave a husband and five children. I miss her still and it's her birthday today.